Helga and Her Life
by MiaMeadows
Summary: Arnold is back in town for Uni holidays and who should he spy sitting on the stairs in a cocktail dress? Why none other than his old nemesis Helga Pataki. Thinking they could talk for old times sake Arnold realises that the old times were not at all how he imagined them to be. Some swearing.
1. Changes and Confessions

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold! This story is based on the TV show rather than the film so, just for the purpose of this story, pretend the film never happened. **

It was a Friday night. Arnold was back in town for his University holidays. He had planned on spending the evening with his old best friend, Gerald, but he had ditched him for a date. Arnold was now twenty years old. He no longer lived with his grandparents; he lived on campus in a dorm room. He hadn't seen most of his old friends since middle school, having attended a selective high school only for very smart kids. When he had returned for school holidays he spent most of his time studying or playing the occasional video game with Gerald, at least he did, until Gerald went and got himself a girlfriend.

So Arnold walked the streets of his childhood alone. He wondered whether any of his other old friends would be back for the holidays, it seemed unlikely. Sid was married with a baby on the way and living on Long Island. Eugene had moved to North Dakota, with his parents, years ago and no one had heard from him since, Stinky was working as a bus driver in New York, Rhonda had all kinds of problems and last he heard she was dancing in a night club and Phoebe was at Harvard. There was only one person who he had no idea about and that was Helga. Helga's parents had shipped her off to boarding school and her letters home had been few and far between, and only ever to Phoebe.

Arnold crossed the street and bought a burger from the kiosk for his dinner. He continued to walk and eat, kicking a can along as he went and dribbling sweet chilli sauce down his chin. He turned the corner and approached the restaurant where he knew Gerald and his girlfriend were probably staring into each other's eyes lovingly when all he had to stare at was a half-eaten burger and the sidewalk.

It was then that he saw her.

She had changed. Oh god she had changed. The pig tails were gone, the pink dress was gone, the white trainers were gone, the pink bow was gone, the mono-brow was gone and in their place was a sad looking young lady with long, straight blond hair, red high heels, a black cocktail dress and a lot of eye makeup.

"Helga?"

She was sitting on the stairs typing on her mobile phone. She looked up at him.

"Football head?"

Her face was impossible to read, was she pleased to see him? Or had he just interrupted some kind of crises situation. In his experience girls didn't often sit, by themselves, on the stairs, outside restaurants, at night time, unless something was wrong.

"The very same," he said, standing awkwardly beside her.

"Wow, long time," she said, dropping the phone into her clutch.

"Yeah," he said, moving from one foot to the other, "so, what have you been up to then?"

"Oh, you know," she said, "not much, you?"

"Yeah same, you know, Uni and all that."

"Oh right, you're doing law or something right?"

"Yeah, pre-law"

"Awesome."

Arnold sat down on the stair next to Helga.

"So, are you waiting for someone then?" He said.

"No, I umm, I was supposed to be getting dinner with someone but they cancelled, again."

"Want the rest of my burger?"

"Sure," she said, taking it from him and devouring the remainder in less than a minute. She laughed, wiping her face with the back of her hand, "sorry, I was pretty hungry."

Arnold smiled; it was nice to know she hadn't completely changed.

"So what are you doing tonight anyway?" she asked.

"Hanging out with you of course," he said, standing up and offering her his hand, "come on, let's get a drink."

"She gave him her hand, "you read my mind," she said.

Minutes later they were sitting at a bar with a glass of beer each and nothing but a bowl of peanuts between them.

"So tell me honestly Arnold," said Helga, taking a huge sip from her beer and hiding a burp behind her hand, "how's life?"

"I'm not going to lie, it's pretty shit," he said, taking an even larger sip from his beer.

"Oh, I know right? I was supposed to be on a date tonight with my so-called boyfriend and once again he has texted at the last minute to let me know that he had a better offer, probably getting drunk with his stupid friends as we speak."

"Ouch," said Arnold, signalling the barman for a refill, "well, if you think that's sad, I came back to town for one weekend to see my best friend and he'd rather get laid."

"Typical," said Helga as her phone buzzed on the counter top, she looked at it for half a second and then threw it across the room, hitting the dartboard with a perfect bullseye, and nearly missing an old man's nose, "bastard."

"Most guys are," said Arnold, "but you'll meet the right one someday Helga."

"Ah, but you see, maybe I have met him, maybe I met him years and years ago!"

Arnold finished his second glass.

"Drink up," he said, signally the bartender again, "round three is on its way."

"You didn't know that did you football head?"

"Know what?"

"That I spent a good chunk of my life in love with you."

Helga hiccupped and Arnold choked on the beer he was drinking, spilling a lot down his shirt front.

"I know, seems pretty stupid now hey? But there you go."

"You were in love with me?"

"Well, I don't think love is quite the right word, it was more of an obsession," said Helga, finishing her third drink.

"But you hated me, you made fun of me all the time you…"

"All part of the guise Arnold! I couldn't ever tell you so I had to make you think I hated you so you would never suspect my true feelings!"

She was laughing now and quite unable to stop, until she snorted, then they both laughed for a good eight and half minutes.

"Helga Pataki was in love with me! That's it, I've heard it all! Can you imagine? What were you thinking?!"

"Well, I wasn't thinking, I was in love! You know what I used to do? I used to carry a picture of you around in a little love heart picture frame and I wrote you poetry…"

"Oh stop, I can't handle anymore," said Arnold, he was laughing so hard now that he had to hold onto the bench for support.

"It's not that funny," said Helga, suddenly very serious, "I loved you, and it tortured me every single day of my life."

Arnold started to laugh even harder until Helga stood up, stormed across the room to retrieve her phone and stomped out the door, but not before yelling, "you men are all the bloody same!"

Arnold stopped laughing, he realised that perhaps he hadn't been exactly tactful so he paid the barman their huge bill and followed Helga outside.


	2. Words and Interruptions

Helga was storming down the street with her arms crossed. Arnold followed her timidly behind. He ventured to put a hand on her shoulder but it was shrugged away.

"Helga?" he said.

"Look just forget it alright, that was ages ago anyway, it doesn't matter anymore."

"But Helga it does matter. That is, it matters to me."

"Why? It's not like I'm still in love with you."

"Why not? I'm still the same guy."

"But I'm not still the same girl, I mean look at me Arnold, I'm nothing like I was as a kid."

"You can't be serious. Helga, you can't just put on a pretty dress and think that makes you a different person, I don't think you've changed all that much."

"Well I have Arnold, a lot has happened to me since you left and I'm sure a lot has happened to you too."

She sat down on a park bench, Arnold hadn't noticed but she seemed to have led them into a park.

"I had a dream about us once," said Arnold, sitting beside her. She wouldn't look at him.

"What?"

"Yeah, that we were married, it was pretty awful…"

Helga made an angry sound and almost slapped him.

"But then, at the end it was different, you told me that deep down you weren't mean at all."

"What exactly is the point of your story?"

"Just, I dunno, trying to cheer you up."

"Thank you very much but I do not need cheering up, I'm fine, I was stupid to ever tell you about it, I just spent so much of my life thinking that I would never have the guts to, so I figured now was as good a time as any."

She turned to face him.

"Well anyway, I'm sorry I laughed, you're right, it's not funny," he said.

"I'm sorry I snapped, I just, I haven't been having the best time lately."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Come on, you can tell me."

"Look, I just, I get the feeling sometimes that my life is going nowhere."

"But what about your boyfriend? Are you guys going to get married someday?"

"Oh god no! I've only stayed with this one as long as I have because he's the first to not use me as his personal punching bag."

"What? You mean they…"

"Just forget it."

"Helga I had no idea, why did you…"

"I just, I feel like no one will ever love me you know? I'm sure none of my boyfriends ever have. Girls like me just don't get married Arnold."

"But look at you Helga, you're beautiful, you've turned into a real, well, a real woman."

"As if, besides it's not just that, I've always been far too outspoken and independent, guys hate that."

"Not all guys. I mean, that was always my favourite part about you."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, of course, you were always the sort to just go after what you wanted, no matter what, well, except me I suppose."

She laughed a small sad laugh.

"Anyway Helga, there's a guy out there for you somewhere, one who would never hurt you and who likes everything about you."

"Well, I haven't met anyone yet who fits that description, but hey, I've only been looking for twenty years."

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"I'd never hurt you and I like everything about you."

"That's a lie and you know it."

"No Helga, I'm serious, in fact, I'm kind of into you right now."

"What?" she whispered.

"Well, you look really great in that dress and you've hardly insulted me all night."

She didn't speak, she didn't smile, she just kissed him right then and there on that old park bench.

Now would be a good time to point out that all the time Helga had spent with boyfriends who didn't treat her right Arnold had spent alone in his dorm room. I guess you could say she was the more experienced of the two.

Unfortunately their encounter was interrupted by a troop of football players who chose that moment to wander drunkenly through the park.

"Hey Josh, isn't that chick your girlfriend?"

Josh was sure it was.

"Get your hands off my girl!" he yelled and pulled Arnold off the bench with one hand. The other hand he used to slap Helga across the face.

He had Arnold in a headlock quicker than Helga could pick herself up off the ground. But once she did she threw her high heel straight at his face yelling; "Leave him alone!"

The shoe hit him square in the nose and in the moment of confusion Helga punched him in the side and quite possibly broke a rib or two.

Josh dropped Arnold on the floor and put one hand to his bleeding nose and the other to his aching side. The rest of his friends suddenly sprang into action, ready to make a brawl out of it.

Helga pulled Arnold up and they ran for their lives.

Luckily Helga was fast, or at least, she was once she took off her other shoe, and Arnold was small and limber so they managed to get away before the pack came chasing after them. They sought refuge at Arnold's old house. Everyone was already asleep when they clambered up the stairs to his old, tiny, attic bedroom.

He unfolded the couch and they sat down, surveying each other's damage. Helga's eye had already stared to swell and Arnold had huge grazes on his knees.

"I am so sorry Arnold," she said, cleaning his knee with a wet handkerchief, "that was all my fault."

"I'm sorry I didn't protect you Helga," he said, holding an icepack to her face.

"That's ok, I don't need anyone to protect me, I can take care of myself."

"You sure have terrible taste in boyfriends, I thought you said he was the only one who _didn't _hit you?"

"Well, not often anyway,"

"I don't know how you end up with these creeps Helga, you're a good person."

"Well you know what guys like that are like, they'll go for any girl in a short skirt."

Arnold winced as Helga started on his other knee.

"I've always wanted to know what your bedroom looks like," she said.

"It's pretty small, I don't even have room for a double bed."

"That's a shame," she said, taking the ice pack off her eye and dropping the handkerchief on the floor.

"Why?"

Helga leaned towards him again and kissed him. This time she wasn't out in public, she was safe in Arnold's bedroom, where she had always dreamed of being. She had her arms around his neck, pulling his face onto hers. His hands cautiously found her hips and then moved ever so slowly up to her waist.


	3. Eggs and plans

When Helga awoke she was alone on the couch in Arnold's bedroom. She could hear someone snoring and, looking about herself, she saw that Arnold was asleep in his bed. That made her sad. She had always wanted to wake up with his arms still around her. But, she supposed, the couch was very small and he had covered her in the duvet which was nice.

Helga stood up and pulled her dress back on. Then she found a receipt in her clutch and wrote Arnold a note.

_Dear Arnold,_

_I'm sorry to leave like this, last night was great, but you have to live your life and I have to live mine._

_Thank you for being a good guy,_

_Helga_

She placed it on his bedside table and was just kissing his forehead when he opened his eyes and smiled.

"Good morning beautiful," he said.

That floored Helga. She was suddenly filled with doubt. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. Her normal morning greeting was a demand for bacon and a commandeering of the blankets.

"Arnold," she said, "what are we doing?"

"Getting breakfast?" he said, putting a t-shirt on, "I think I can whip up some eggs if you like."

"No," she said, trying to brush her hair with only her fingers, "I mean, what are we doing, like, about last night?"

"Oh that," he said, standing up, "well, I always say you should never discuss anything on an empty stomach. So! Showers and eggs and then we talk. Feel free to borrow a shirt or something if you want to get changed."

Helga could only seem to stand and stare at the boy before her. Not only was he kind and sweet but _he_ was offering to make breakfast for _her_. It was almost too good to be true. She couldn't seem able to respond to any part of his speech accept the last.

"I guess that would be good, I can't really go and get my clothes from the flat, Josh will probably be there."

So, half an hour later, Helga found herself sitting at Arnold's kitchen table, wearing a pair of Arnold's old jeans and a t-shirt, eating scrambled eggs and drinking black coffee. She had the makings of a headache and was going silently mad trying to work out what she would do with her life. The prospects weren't good.

Arnold was infuriatingly speechless and the noise of him chewing his bread was setting her teeth on edge. She wished he would just tell her to leave or something, she couldn't bare not knowing what he was thinking.

After breakfast Arnold washed the dishes and Helga thought that she had quite possibly never been more attracted to anyone in her entire life. But all too soon for Arnold, and all too late for Helga, the meal was finished and the time for talking had begun.

"What are we going to do?" she said, sitting back on his couch, tucking her legs under her body.

"Well, I thought maybe we could go and see a movie."

"No Arnold, stop avoiding the question, what are we going to do? What am I going to do? I have no future, no home, no life, I don't know what to do with myself now, I can't go back to the flat, I can't go to my parents…" she had grown hysterical.

"Helga, listen to me," said Arnold, placing his hands on her shoulders, "everything is going to be fine, you can stay here until you decide what to do."

"What, and sleep on your couch?"

"No, of course not, I'll sleep on the couch, you can sleep in my bed."

"But what about all my stuff? My clothes and..."

"We'll pick them up today, we'll take a huge gang of people with us so he can't touch you."

"And then what? What happens when you go back to uni? Am I supposed to stay here with your grandparents and wait for you to come back in the holidays?"

"Of course not, you can come with me."

"What?"

"Yeah, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"When I grow up?"

"Yeah, well, you know what I mean, is there anything you want to do at uni?"

"I, I don't know I…"

"Because I think you would make a great actress."

"An actress?" she almost fell off the couch.

"Yeah, remember when we did Romeo and Juliet? You were fantastic!"

"I don't know I, I guess I could."

"Great, so, apply, live on campus like I do and everything's sorted right?" he said, taking her hand.

"But I can't just…"

"Of course you can," he said, kissing her very sweetly, "you are amazing."

And Helga felt suddenly as if anything were possible, maybe she could go to uni, maybe she could become an actress, maybe she could study Shakespeare. When Arnold kissed her she remembered how she had been as a child, how she had believed she could really do anything, and perhaps it wasn't all that different now.

"Ok, I'll, I'll apply today."

"Perfect, and I'll gather the troops together for our mission to retrieve your effects."

"But Arnold, I don't, I mean, I can't do this with you unless I know you're serious about me."

"Serious?" he said, crinkling his humungous forehead.

"Yes, are you, I mean, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

"Will I get to kiss you whenever I like?"

"Yes," she said.

"And cook you eggs for breakfast?"

"Of course," she said, laughing.

"And could I, if I wanted to, take you out for dinner sometime, and show up on time?"

"Certainly."

"Well then, yes, I think your boyfriend would be a very nice thing to be."

Helga grinned at what was definitely the nicest sentence she had ever heard.


End file.
